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The Middle of Everywhere: Helping Refugees Enter the American Community Review
Over the past decade, Mary Pipher has been a great source of wisdom, helping us to better understand our family members. Now she connects us with the newest members of the American family--refugees. In cities all over the country, refugees arrive daily. Lost Boys from Sudan, survivors from Kosovo, families fleeing Afghanistan and Vietnam: they come with nothing but the desire to experience the American dream. Their endurance in the face of tragedy and their ability to hold on to the virtues of family, love, and joy are a lesson for Americans. Their stories will make you laugh and weep--and give you a deeper understanding of the wider world in which we live. The Middle of Everywhere moves beyond the headlines into the homes of refugees from around the world. Working as a cultural broker, teacher, and therapist, Mary Pipher has once again opened our eyes--and our hearts--to those with whom we share the future. User Submitted The Middle of Everywhere: Helping Refugees Enter the American Community ReviewsSeptember 26, 2008 Great book on something I had no clue about Great introduction to how and where our country brings in people from all over the world. Good writing to go along with this. August 28, 2008 Middle of Everywhere As we prepare to assist in the resettlement of a refugee family, our group found this book very helpful in our preparation. Presented a broad spectrum of viewpoints to consider. August 26, 2008 Eye Opening and Compelling Each story was captivating and very in-depth. Pipher has incredible insight into each of the issues refugees face as they come to our country. It opened my eyes to the plight of others. A fantastic read. February 28, 2008 Excellent Information A lot of practical information about helping those new to the US, mixed with compelling stories of every-day experiences. February 18, 2008 Can't get this book out of my head One of the most thoughtful and thought-provoking books I've read in a long while. It will enlighten you more about America than about the immigrants who are trying to build a life here. I could relate to these stories also on another level. We are trying to help our autistic child, 23, fit into society, learn its social cues, get a job, even learn about humor, sarcasm and kidding. For him, it is as difficult to learn as for these refugees. There are few books that I keep thinking about for days after reading, this is one of those rare ones. October 20, 2007 Who Is My Neighbor? Mary Pipher's book is a compelling story about the diversity of people who immigrate to the United States , how great their needs are as they enter a new culture, how little understanding and wisdom they bring for handling the complexities of western life, and how little Americans are doing to help them. It also explores the concept of globalization, a trend which was explained with a quote from Thomas Friedman's The Lexus and the Olive Tree: "There are two ways to make a person homeless - destroy his home or make his home look like everyone else's." With increased technology and travel, American cities are becoming more ethnically diverse, yet our culture permeates other cultures in unexpected ways. I too have spied the smiling colonel of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame in Chiang Mai, Thailand, in Denpasar, Bali, and in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. Although Mary's story takes place in Lincoln, Nebraska, which some would call "the middle of nowhere", as refugees from all over the globe are relocated to this town, it becomes "the middle of everywhere". In her attempt to see how globalization has affected our choices, our interpersonal relationships, our allegiances, our mental and social health, our sense of home, and our individual identities, the author finds that looking at our American home through the eyes of the immigrant has given her a fresh, clear view of who we really are. She notes that most Americans are identified with placing a high value on freedom, personal space, and time constraints. But as she reveals all the people she has met and experiences she has heard through them, it is amazing to me that her faith in humankind has not deserted her completely. Her philosophy of life is persistently interwoven into every story and every page. Being a writer, she doesn't say it this bluntly, but her purpose is to encourage native-born Americans to stop being so irresponsible, spoiled and self-centered, to look outside themselves at people with real needs and be willing to give of their time and talents to be of help. She reveals many refugee families and individuals to the reader on a personal level, so that we must be aware that they are indeed just like us in all the ways that truly matter. The author demonstrates how ignorant most educated Americans are about the needs of immigrants and refugees in our country. We see them but they are invisible to us. Our culture esteems independence of thought and action, which is easy when you can speak, read, and write the language. For others it is an incredible hardship. If we have business to take care of, we just look up the phone number, make an appointment, then drive our car to the location at the correct time. If you don't have the skills to accomplish this, don't even have a phone, a car, or a watch, you desperately need someone on the inside to help you out. Learning about this situation is like discovering another life form on the planet that you never knew was coexisting with yours. They are all around us, but we are so immersed in our own lives, we are clueless. Our culture encourages this separation. We value freedom of thought, but only express our individual opinions to those in our living room, around the water cooler at work, or perhaps over the internet. We value freedom of speech, but only listen to opinions on the television at home, the radio in our cars, or by reading the daily newspaper. We overvalue freedom of personal space and privacy, so we don't know our own neighbors, much less the refugees living on the far side of town. We don't have any idea who in our building, or on our street, who is having a family crisis, who is experiencing financial woes, or who is desperately lonely for company. Mary Pipher is honest and straightforward in addressing these problems, yet she does so in such a palatable way. She recognizes that no one culture is right or wrong, but that it is important to choose what is best from each. She identifies the ideal culture as one that would "have exactly the right number of choices to maximize freedom and control in every domain." She accurately defines what all of us need to survive in this new globalized world: the ability to adapt, resiliency, families who love us and help us, rituals and traditions, contact with the natural world and with our history, communities of friends, livable wages, decent schools and health care, safe streets, and opportunities to get ahead. How can you argue with someone who quotes Aristotle, the Dalai Lama, Thomas Paine, Descartes, and Willa Cather? February 14, 2007 America redefined I was working with a church group on mentoring Somalian refugees into mainstream America down south. This book fell into my hands as a blessing to understand how and why I am doing what I am doing. Pipher delves into the heart of the life of poor refugees (and to some extent immigrants too) who are given 'shelter' from their war or crisis torn homelands into a strange and completely different country. She looks into their past/present and possible futures with great love, compassion and above all a deep and sincere desire for America to be the real home of these people so separated from lands of their birth. I would give her five stars for that alone - the vast majority of americans i meet and whites in particularl live in an Utopian world where refugees and any other form of 'trouble' from the rest of the world is considered 'invasive' - the best they can come to is patronize, rarely any understanding. If not for churches and other immigrants life would be hell in more ways than one for these people. Pipher writes eloquently in the last few pages on using therapy (again a very american thing) in dealing with trauma, with both its pluses and minuses, and also on her own growth and healing from the lives of the many courageous souls she met in this process. My hope and prayers are for more people like her, and a more open minded America in times to come. March 1, 2006 A must read for all!!! At first I was apprehensive about reading this book. It was a required reading for a class. Once I started, I realized how wrong I was!!! This is a great book. It brought to light how hard it is for refugees in America. I was also intrigued by the fact that Lincoln, NE is a major refugee hub. I am a teacher, and I come into contact with Hmong students all of the time. This book remided me that they are not like us and everything I need to be aware of. I have recommeded this book to everyone!!! I could not put it down!!! April 26, 2004 The Muddle of Everywhere For those who still believe that the forced (We voted on this WHEN?) conversion of the America into a "multicultural," ever-less-European caldron of aggravated grievances and simmering sensibilities remains limited to places like Los Angeles and New York, they should read clinical psychologist Mary Pipher's glowing account of the "transformation" of Lincoln, Nebraska. Lincoln is Pipher's hometown, one of the quiet American towns targeted by the U.S Office of Refugee Resettlement as a "preferred community for newly arrived refugees." One of the difficult problems Pipher had growing up in Nebraska was that her "state's identity over the last 150 years has been mainly European." As a child Mary would wistfully play the "globe game," spinning a world globe, pointing her finger at some random spot, and imagining what wonders she would encounter there. Later she was increasingly torn: Travel to some exotic locale, or remain in monotonous old Lincoln, which many derided as "the middle of nowhere." But now, thanks to her government's refugee-immigration policies, the fun globe game has come to Mary Pipher! Today, Pipher admits, when long-time residents of Lincoln drive down their quiet streets and see the same houses and trees, they are unaware that their town is becoming drastically altered. We will soon have a "brown Nebraska," and this is "happening nationwide," rejoices the "Irish-English" Mary Pipher. For, "We are becoming a richer curry of peoples." Now Pipher looks at sections of her once dreary hometown and is happily reminded of the exciting colorfulness of "East Harlem" or "Bangkok." And, luckily for her, "where cultures collide [as in Iraq?] is the best vantage point for observing human resilience." Pipher has "always loved Culture and Personality studies and now," she writes, "I can be an anthropologist in my own town." Yes, at last, Pipher can visit the public schools in Lincoln and find "children from fifty different nationalities who speak thirty-two languages." Someone might easily write another, equally voluminous book, a handy companion to this one, entitled "The Incredibly Obvious Things that Never Occur to Dr. Mary Pipher." Pipher interviews three refugee Muslim brothers who are in tears describing how terribly American men treat American women, a sort of "mirror image" of how American men view Muslim men's treatment of Muslim women. Yes, it is undoubtedly painful for immigrants to live in a culture they see as sinful. What is completely lost on Pipher is that this is exactly why it has made sense historically for people of drastically different cultures to live in separate nations. Also, one of the things that Pipher loves most about Nebraska is that it is a "vast farm and ranch state." In fact, the "state's best feature is our population density." That refugees and other immigrants continually flowing into Nebraska, many with historically high birthrates, will eventually bring staggering population growth, pollution, crime and all the other urban ills to her beloved sparsely-populated state never seems to penetrate the otherwise infinitely sensitive and psychologically nuanced mind of Mary Pipher. Different refugees, we read, prefer to live among themselves, since they can help each other cope. Sometimes interviewing refugees can be tricky. There are "highly charged political and personal questions" and "Religion and politics are danger zones." In fact, "Everything is more complex than it seems." Gosh, no kiddin, Mare? So what will happen when large sections of America are splintered among these very different cultures, and they all start contending for power over these "highly-charged" issues? Another question left unconsidered by Dr. Pipher. Sometimes these lapses in cognition are so extreme that it is difficult to see them as innocent. "Globalization will change everything forever." Racially and culturally the world is becoming a cozy "bowl of salt and pepper." Oh really? Is China becoming less ethnically Chinese? Mexico less Hispanic? Why is this "salt and pepper" paradise only thought to be beneficial for traditionally white nations? Don't ask. On this question too, sorry, the Doctor cannot see you now. One of the strengths of this book, however, is its humor, no matter how unintended. What we are witnessing today is the slow "unfurling" of the "unity of mankind." [Okay, I'll try to remember that when I'm watching the nightly TV body count.] Now it is time for us to "see our common humanity and blow each other a kiss of welcome." It is tempting to laugh at these things, but it is always chilling to see how easily pious, high-minded utopianism can slither down into evil consequences. Pipher writes that some Nebraskans just want to be "left alone." But, No way, says the compassionate grandmotherly psychotherapist, because now "nobody gets to be left alone," which is the "great lesson" of 9/11. "Either we all are safe or none of us is safe." How sweet. Besides, Americans are so "protected" that they know almost nothing about the rest of the world. Pipher tells us that some refugees are unaware that the word is round, or can't find the United States on a world map, but Americans are suppose to feel like insensitive dolts because they don't know, for example, that they "should not touch a Vietnamese child on the head." In a world of hundreds of cultures? What a double standard! Even Pipher concedes that refugees "range from saints to psychopaths." But why should we take in psychopaths? Because--forget about Washington, Jefferson, or the moon landing--"the central fact for American identity is that we take people in." Tragically, the very thing that Lincoln, Nebraska was accused of being, it was not, but is now becoming. It was once the middle of a strong and cherished culture. It was at the very heart of somewhere. Now Pipher almost swoons when she describes the colorful "diversity" of a downtown park, with women in hijabs next to women in tank tops, and so on. But a nation is not a costume ball, nor is it a bizarre anthropological experiment. Only now is Lincoln becoming "the middle of nowhere." February 13, 2003 The Plight of Refugees in a magnificent piece The convergence of a fascinating and easy to follow narrative with a serious discussion of a theme of world proportions is seldom found in literature. Best seller author Mary Phipher met the challenge of writing with from the perspective of a health professional and a human being who exhibits compassion for a "people group," the refugee population. The book describes Phipher's involvement in what I will call in theological terms, a ministry of care for other human beings, the refugees who have moved to Lincoln, Nebraska. It is poignant to read that she finished the manuscript on September 10, 2001 at the eve of the great disaster those of us living in New York experienced in what has been popularized as 9/11. The book is presented in three symmetrical parts, each containing four chapters, and a Coda. Part One: "Hidden in Plain Sight" describes the unusual collisions of the culture of Lincoln, Nebraska, in the heartland of the nation, with the arrival of refugees from different countries of the world. Part Two: "Refugees across the Life Cycle," narrates Phipher's involvement with different "age groups" of the refugee population--children, youth, young adults, and families-- Part Three: "The Alchemy of Healing--Turning Pain into Meaning," discusses specific case studies of selected groups of refugees who have suffered through wars, famines, ethnic cleansing, and displacement. It analyzes the stories and reactions of those who are finding healing and a new life in the community. Chapters 11 and 12 were of significant help to this writer. Phipher deals with a case study of counseling and presents significant conclusions related to the challenges refugees face in their attempts to adapt to a new culture. She discusses in depth topics like choice and identity, the role of "home," what refugees can teach us about adaptation, and what the health professions need to face in dealing with persons in trauma whose cultural presuppositions are different from a "Western" approach to therapy. The section of chapter 12 "Just Plain Ignorance," (JPI) outlines ten stereotypes the general population has about refugees. "Coda: We're All Here Now," and an Appendix provide helpful tools of "How to" for persons interested in ministering to refugees. This writer has had emotional, intellectual and ministry connection with refugees. Ministering to Cuban, Vietnamese, Cambodian, and Salvadoran refugees in Texas during the 1970s and 80s, I entered into the narrative of the book as an active participant. I was reminded by the case studies of the pain, suffering, loneliness, and challenges facing refugees. It was also good to remember the multiple acts of kindness, mercy, grace, and love practiced by church members who took the challenge of the Old Testament injunction to "welcoming the stranger in your midst." The Office of the United Nations High Commissioner of Refugees (UNHCR) classifies a refugee as a person fleeing a frontier and eligible to receive international protection. For these, an estimated 13-15 million, the agency has a mandate for assistance. Present and future wars will add to these overwhelming numbers. Western nations fearing terrorism are limiting the entry of many victims of persecution and ethnic cleansing, and refugees who flee seeking religious, political and economic freedom. Those in ministry of mercy and grace working with refugees, internationals, migrants, and other foreign born persons can profit immensely by reading this book. Although the book is directed to the general population, I would recommend it for use as required reading for classes in pastoral ministry or social work.
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